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Last night I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to escape online. I say trying because it was like pulling teeth, trying to find a a venue to do this. Maybe I’m living in the wrong century, but I wanted a portal to experience an alternative virtual universe while dressed to the 9s as a sexy avatar. This seemed like a reasonable mission. However there aren’t many options out there beyond Second Life, which I had already attempted unsuccessfully. I wanted something more pre-packaged, less individualized. I didn’t want to “own land”, I wanted to go clubbing. So I stumbled on IMVU and was pleased by the possibilities. Too bad I’ve never played a roleplaying game before. I was completely lost and retardedly bumped my head into walls for a half an hour, while trying to control my new hot body. I never ended up getting the hang of it. In fact I couldn’t even figure out how to get out of “my room”. I invited some guy in a letter jacket to come in and talk, but he wasn’t very literate.
“o u so hot bb, wanna play wit u”
We talked for awhile, although I couldn’t figure out how to face his direction. Then I accidentally started “doing the pony” and galloping around the room. That must have turned him off because he left shortly after.
I decided to explore the various rooms available on the main site, so I “dropped in” at the bar. All the rooms had under 14 people, so this had the effect of crashing people’s private party.
and the inevitable “WELL, it’s getting late. I have to go to bed”
Clearly my very presence was a buzzkill to these more sophisticated avatars. Plus I still couldn’t control my body, so I was pretty much a lame duck. I danced awkwardly for a few minutes, moving in uncontrollable weird poses. But I couldn’t figure out how to get a drink at the bar, so I left.
Not sure if I’ll be going back. A bit too much like real life for my taste.