Marie Antoinette, forever a symbol of noble frivolity and the sacrificial lamb of the class revolution. As a symbol of the status quo, she doesn’t quite make the Shortwave “Top Rebel Bastards” list. But the potency of her character has leant itself to considerable satire through the decades, so who was Marie Antoinette really? There are oodles of biographies on the subject, no doubt, but we prefer vain speculation. There’s something more savory about it….and so we wondered, what might it be like – a day in the life of a young and anachronistic Marie Antoinette?

Dear Diary,

by Jean-Etienne Liotard, 1762

Today J.E. Liotard painted my portrait. They wouldn’t let Frau-Mau my poodle accompany me during the sitting, so instead I posed with the remote control to my throne – a nod to the omnipotence of my regal power. Plebian fools! They should have let me have my Frau-Mau. I still giggle about the fact that she is named after the pug-faced Duchess of Normandy, my arch nemesis and rival. Trust me, the dog is much cuter!

Anyway, the painting is for the Dauphin of France my current suitor. He will be asking for my hand soon and one day I will be the Queen of France! Even though I am only 14 they let me wear my gray curly wig for the portrait – it gives me an air of sexual sophistication.

yours, Marie

Hameau de la Reine

Dear Diary,

The palace is so grand! I have given it my own special touch, complete with many gold-gilded ribbons and diamond-encrusted bows.

You may recall  how I love dolls and miniatures so I had a quaint peasant village erected in the courtyard garden. Oh mon ami, now I can play at living the life of the lower classes! We have chickens and everything! It’s so realistic that it sets my heart aflutter. Dear Louie even got me the most simple brown burlap sack dress to wear so I may play the part convincingly. Perhaps I will bake bread! (Only kidding, mon ami, I would never do that…)

yours, Marie

cupcakes with Marie

Dear Diary,

Sophia Coppola visited me today at the palace. She wants to make a moving picture show of the grandiose life of Queen Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI. Sophia is aware of the discontent of the French people with their foreign but loyal queen, so she wants to immortalize the grandeur in celluloid film. It is the best news I’ve heard all year! My public hates me and wants to tear me apart…But even if I die tomorrow at least Miss Sophia Coppola will pay hommage to my greatness and be sure that our legacy lives on with great splendor. I may die for the vain cause of the peasants’ “revolution”, but Ms. Coppola will set history right. The public will finally know the TRUE  M. Antoinette – in all the noble dignity befitting of an infamous Queen.

yours, Marie

To be continued…..

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